Sometimes, the world feels like it’s falling apart, but, at ALL times, He has a plan, He is working wonders, and He is with me; therefore, I surrender my expectations to the will of my Father, the only one who knows my tomorrow, the one who has written my future, the one who holds me safely in His hand.
These last few weeks have been rough for me. I’ve been struggling with my depression, combating the stress of school, wrestling with inner doubts and questions, and, to top it all off, I have the flu. Go figure, right? Thanks to medication (Thank the Lord for Tamiflu!) and lots of self-care, I was finally reviving into a functional human being.
And then, my mom called and dropped a bomb on me that shook everything.
Mom: “Was that rhetorical, or did you actually not hear me?”
Me: “No, I heard you. I just wanted you to tell me it’s not true.”
Now, the details of that bomb are too personal to share here, but the details aren’t the point, anyway, so what do they matter? The details aren’t what inspired me to write; my reaction to them is. As soon as I hung up the phone, I let my tears run free, I bawled my eyes out, and I prayed to God. I asked Him the age-old question He somehow never tires of hearing from us when we’re going through tough time; I asked Him, “Why?”
I didn’t get a straight answer. I didn’t get any answer that in any way fit what I wanted, but I did get an answer. Without any hesitation, I grabbed my phone, went to YouTube, and looked up the song God put on my heart in response to my fervent question:
Like I said, not exactly a straightforward answer, but it is still an answer, and it is still comforting. Why? I’ll tell you:
- Any answer means He heard my cry and recognized my need for an immediate reply.
- This song is a reminder to me that He has a greater plan than any I could begin to imagine.
- Through this song,God reminded me where my faith should be: in His will. His will is greater than my own. My will only seeks the snapshot of life I can visualize. His will serves the biggest picture that serves us all.
- Verse Two. All of it. Life doesn’t always feel good, and it’s hard to “count it all joy” when it doesn’t, but God is always good because God is always God.
Though the sorrow may last for the night, His joy comes in the Morning!” Psalms 30:5
This “night” may last days or weeks or years in our eyes, but I believe in the morning He has promised. I will not lose hope for I know the One whom I call Saviour, Redeemer, Master, and King.