Perseverance

Suffering My Thorn

/ Liz Herod / Leave a comment

To be honest, I haven’t been feeling much like myself lately. I’m falling back into a depressive slump, and I don’t like it, but I don’t know what to do to fix it. Of course, I don’t have to know. Why? Because me knowing is all about “me, me, me” when it’s not about me at all; I should be focused on “Him, Him, Him.” That’s my problem when I start stumbling. I focus on my feeling helpless, my feeling lost, and my inability to quell this monster on my own. The thing is it’s not my battle to win! If I try to destroy my depression and anxiety on my own, I will lose every time. I need to give it to Him.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 says,

“. . . So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.

“Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

My depression, my anxiety – they are my thorn. I have cried out to God over and over again to remove them from me, but He refuses. He keeps sending me these verses instead, and so I will boast of this thorn in my side and use it to serve God’s glory. Through my weakness, He makes me strong. I place my trust in His will and His hand in my life, on my mind, and on my body.

“Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
And there are no grapes on the vines;
Even though the olive crop fails,
And the fields lie empty and barren;
Even though the flocks dies in the fields,
And the cattle barns are empty,
Yet I will rejoice the LORD!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
The Sovereign Lord is my strength!
He makes me as surefooted as a deer,
Able to tread upon the heights.”

Habakkuk 3:17-19

No matter what seems to be going wrong, I will rejoice in the Lord my God and trust His path for my life. The road my not be easy, but I know it will be worth taking, even with all the valleys I must walk through. The darkness will not claim my life but give me a testimony to bring others to the Light.

“Though the sorrows my last for the night, joy comes sin the morning.”

Psalm 30:5b

Who can know how long the night will last, but the morning will come.

I suffer this thorn in my side, for I know that I am trading my sorrow for joy, my weakness for strength, my pain for comfort, and my past for my salvation – and each of you can do the same. Your thorn may be different from mine. Your story certainly is, but God can use your testimony to serve Him, if you let Him.

Don’t be ashamed of your journey; share it! Someone needs your story.

God bless!

Elizabeth

A Renewed Spirit and A Revived Dedication

/ Liz Herod / Leave a comment

Okay, I recognize that I have been seriously neglecting this blog. As you read on, you’ll see that God’s been dealing with me about just that.

We get scared. We doubt – regularly. We get busy and get too focused on the craziness of our lives that we lose track of our lives with God, and we make countless excuses: “I have to get this paper done before I do anything else;” “I have too much to read; I’ll do it later;” I don’t have time to do it right now;” “Can’t afford to do fun stuff, yet;” etc.

The problem is we never do it later. There is always something else that needs to get done, some important task that we think is more important at the time than a conversation. Boy, are we wrong! There is nothing more important than our relationship with God. No matter what is going on or how busy we are, we need to set aside plenty of time to build and maintain our relationship because without it everything will fall apart, and we rarely recognize the cause of our troubles.

I am the poster child of this issue. I constantly get caught up with everything else in my life, especially school, and forget to – or just don’t – take the time to focus on God and spend time with Him. Inevitably, my world starts falling apart before too long.

Until the last few weeks, I was still struggling to keep myself focused on my Father. I thought summer would be easier to refocus without classes, but that hasn’t been the case, so I’m challenging myself to write every day and to post a blog at least once a week. God doesn’t expect perfection. (Someone, please, keep reminding me of that.) He wants all of us: the good, the bad, AND the ugly. He knows everything about us and loves us anyway, so why do we act like He doesn’t want what we have to give, even if it’s not all that we probably should? God understands baby steps! Give Him what you can now, and more will come later. This is one piece of advice that I really need to remember and act on myself.

Here’s to renewal!

God bless!

Elizabeth

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Finding Peace and Remembering to Rejoice: A Journey With Grief

/ Liz Herod / Leave a comment

“I will rejoice, I will rejoice, and be glad…”

I Will Rejoice/There Is A River

Even when it’s hard, even when I don’t feel I can be, even when my heart is broken and my soul is hurting, I will rejoice, I will be glad, in the presence of the Lord.

He is El Sheddai. He rules over every part of my life, every part of my world. The pain and the darkness may last for the night, but the joy of the Lord – MY Lord – will last forever (See Psalms 30:5). He restores my soul, and I will praise Him – through the storm, through the fire, through it all (See Psalms 23:3).

It’s been a hard week for me and for my family. Tuesday morning, I lost my grandma. gmaThe possibility had been there – she had been sick – but she had been getting better, and I just wasn’t prepared. I’ve been fighting to keep myself together, and I have lost that fight and gone to pieces more than a few times. Sunday morning, I broke down during service when we sang “Wonderful Peace” because I just have not been able to find that God-given peace. I can’t understand why. I know she has finally reached her better, and I know she’d tell me not to worry because all is well now that’s she’s with the King, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn’t matter how much I know these things, I also know that the pain of her loss is still heavy on my heart regardless of how much I know.

When I hit the altar yesterday morning, I told God how much I’m struggling to find His peace, and he reminded me:

“You are not in this fight alone. Lean on those who love you: your friends, your family, and especially your church. They are in place at my command to help you through.”

For these God-sent people, I am ever thankful.

My eyes are red and raw, but I will carry on with the strength of the Lord my God, my Keeper, my Provider, my ever-present help in times of need.

God bless!
Elizabeth

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try, Try Again.

/ Liz Herod / 4 Comments

I was talking to friends this evening, and I couldn’t help but think about how many times I’ve messed up and how many times I’ve had to face God, saying, “Hey, I did it again… Will you still take me back? I understand if you won’t…” And, you know what? He always takes me back. Why? Because He LOVES me, and He is the source of unending grace and mercy that covers far more trespasses than I ever deserve to be forgiven for… and yet, He forgives me – every time.

Even in our darkest hours, God had a plan. Every time we’ve stumbled, He already knew how to work that to our advantage. He makes all things work together for our good because we love Him and long to serve Him (Romans 8:28).

Does that mean we should keep messing up because we know He’ll take us back? No, of course not! We should always strive to do better, to BE better, but what that does mean is that we don’t have to be perfect!

We don’t have to constantly live in fear of our mistakes because He loves us anyway, through it all! Jesus gave his LIFE before we ever knew Him, before we ever turned our life to His path for us. While we were yet sinners, He gave the ultimate sacrifice in OUR place (Romans 5:8). Yeah, we’re going to get tripped up sometimes, but that’s okay. Stand right back up, dust yourself off, get back on the path, and keep on trucking!

God bless!
Elizabeth

Learning to Run

/ Liz Herod / 1 Comment

Walking with faith is like learning to run.

When I first began running, I was super gung-ho about it. After my first run, I went out and bought new running shoes, shorts, shirts, and sports bras. I downloaded Runkeeper to keep track of all of my workouts. I even woke up early some mornings to run, and it felt GREAT!

You know what, though? That first run was a little rough, and it’s not like I just got up that day and decided to run. Thing after thing went wrong that day, and by the time I made it back home I was done with the world. I needed to release all that negative energy that was built up inside me, so I ran inside, got ready, and took off to campus. Between my walk there and back and my run around the Drillfield, I put in over 5 miles of work.

I tried to run 2.5 straight laps around the Drillfield, but my body just couldn’t do it. I wasn’t used to that strain. At that point, I don’t think I had really run for any length of time since I broke my femur back in 2009. Despite the pain and the struggle of getting my feet about me, the run felt good, and it made me want to keep running forever.

At first, I kept up. I woke up early at the beach to run I’d go run on the track at home. I even found a couple good routes around town…

But then, life got in the way.

First, I wanted to sleep in. Then, it was too hot in the afternoon. Then, my normal run spots just weren’t convenient enough (or available at all thanks to construction). Just like that, I stopped running. The ease of my running had run out, and I just wasn’t willing to put myself at the necessary inconvenience to keep it up.

I kept telling myself,

“I’ll do better tomorrow.”

Of course, I’d say the same thing when tomorrow came, and then the next thing I knew, I stopped saying it at all because I knew I wasn’t going to do it.

That wasn’t the end of my running, though. The other day, I felt like running, so I did. I went on a 2 mile run with a friend, and it felt so easy. I wanted to keep running even after my friend couldn’t anymore. The ease of running had returned! My muscles only only hated me a little bit, and my mindset made up for the pain. I was ecstatic!

Then, I tried to run again a couple days later, but, as excited as I was to go, my body didn’t support the idea. I went, but it wasn’t nearly as easy:

I only ran 0.75 miles of my 2 miles run because I couldn’t get my breathing together and everything hurt. You know why?

Because my body was awoken to the new movement during that first run! It was relearning how to build those muscles and increase my endurance.

Even though that first run last week was easy, the next several from here on out – so long as I keep it up, of course – will be a lot more difficult, at least for a while. Building muscle and endurance takes time, effort, and sacrifice. It’s not easy, it’s not always relaxing, but it is worth it in the end. The endorphins and satisfaction I feel Post-run are more than worth the pain and effort I put in to the run, not the mention how much better my body feel as time goes by.

Guess what?

FAITH is the same way!

The first big step into faith is a little rough as you face all the stuff you have to release to God and ask for salvation, but then you experience the same post-run high when the weight of sin is first lifted from you. You have new life, and you are so sure you are going to do all these amazing things, and life is going to be so much easier!

But then…

LIFE HAPPENS.

Prayer dwindles. Reading your Bible happens less and less. You barely consider your faith when you act throughout the day.

All of a sudden, you seem too busy to spend time going to church, reading the Word, or talking with God at all. You have too much to do, you don’t have a quiet enough place to focus like you “know” you need to – ANY excuse you can think of works.

And – just like that –

you stop pursuing your faith walk. It hasn’t ended, but you’ve wandered off the path –

you’ve paused your workout with God.

One day, something happens, and you rediscover your passion, so you become rededicated to your faith walk, and you start running again! You feel great! It’s easy! It’s even better than you remember it being! WHY DID I EVER STOP?

Then, you do it again, start trying to build a routine… but this time isn’t so easy. It kind of hurts. What happened?

Well, just like with running, you’ve just awoken all parts of yourself that needs to relearn its proper movements and needs to rebuild endurance. The more you push through and press on through whatever pain or whatever obstacle makes you want to stop and give up, the easier everything will become and the longer and farther you’ll be able to go.

Our journey with God is a race we were called to run with endurance! Keep the faith, keep striving, and don’t give up! Your better is coming, but you have to work to reach it!

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.”  Hebrews 12:1-2

God bless!
Elizabeth

The Process of Self-Improvement: STEP 2

/ Liz Herod / Leave a comment

Step 2: Spend time in His presence and ONLY His presence every day.

This is a BIGGIE. You can only go so far in a relationship if you never spend time with each other, so take a break from your crazy life and look to the one who has allowed you to experience another day, another minute, another breath.

Get rid of the distractions.

Turn off your phone.

Close out Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/etc. – any website that will steal your focus. Turn off your computer completely if you need to.

Remove everything that will keep you from giving all your attention to God.

Set a minimum time.

I usually try to spend at least an hour focusing on nothing but Him, but I will never spend less than 30 minutes. Sometimes I get so lost in His glory that what feels like 30 minutes turns out to be closer to 2 hours. Let the Spirit move in you.

Welcome His Spirit into your space.

Yes, He’s already there because He is always with you, but taking the extra step to specifically welcome His Spirit into your space is an intimate invitation for worship, rest, and communication. It is a way to open yourself up in preparation for what God has for you in that moment. I do it as a way to focus myself on what I’m doing and as a way to say, “God, I’m all yours.”

Have a plan to get you started, but don’t be surprised if that plan goes right out the window when the Spirit starts moving.

I like to start my time with prayer to bring in my focus and to open my heart to God’s guidance and desire initially, but after that I like to use a devotional unless God immediately leads me in a different direction. Lately, I’ve been working through The Message//REMIX: Solo. Every now and then God completely sidetracks me from my plan, and that’s perfectly alright with me. Truly, those are the best moments. There is nothing so sweet as completely surrendering to God’s will.

Keep a Bible Journal.

Your journal can be in whatever form works best for you. I’ve used a regular college-ruled notebook, a binder, a composition book, graph paper, a small spiral notebook, and (finally) a moleskin sketchbook. I just began this most recent journal about two months ago, and it is one of the best things I’ve ever done. I’m taking an entirely new direction in my journaling after I discovered the art of Bible journaling. I’ve always doodled my thoughts, but it had never occurred to me that I could so perfectly incorporate that concept into my faith journey.

This is a journal entry that was inspired by Day 5 of The Message// Remix: Solo.

This is a journal entry that was inspired by Day 5 of The Message// Remix: Solo.

That’s why I finally chose the moleskin sketchbook as the perfect canvas on which to document my walk with God. It fits perfectly in my purse or my Bible case, it’s nicely bound, it lies flat, it has an elastic band to hold it closed, and it has no lines which leaves the layout of each page completely up to my imagination and the leading of God.

I actually ordered a journaling bible to work in alongside my journal when the

Spirit really moves me on a verse. I’ve always been so particular about what marks I put in my Bible, but having a Bible that is specifically for my doodle-like notes that really identify what stands out to me takes that particular weight off my shoulders. Without that weight, my journaling flows, and I am far more comfortable in my exploration of the Word.

Be persistent.

“Old habits die hard,” and new habits don’t come alive much easier. Don’t give up because you forgot to take time one, two, even three days – or weeks or months. It’s never too late to try again. The important thing is to keep doing it. Every time you do it, it’ll get easier, it’ll become more natural, and then you’ll find you can’t wait to spend that time with God and nothing else.

Once you begin to rest daily in the arms of the Father, your life will never be the same.

God bless!
Elizabeth

Related:
The Process of Self-Improvement: Learning to Lead By Example
The Process of Self-Improvement: STEP 1
The Process of Self-Improvement: STEP 3

God is Great, Even When the Road is Dark.

/ Liz Herod / 1 Comment

Y’all, God is just SO good. I’m wrapped palpably in His presence right now. He’s doing some great things in my life. I don’t know where I’m heading, but I know I have a trustworthy guide to lead me to my new destination. There’s a quote by E. L. Doctorow that says, “It’s like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” That’s kind of how it is with God. We can’t see the whole plan, but we can see enough to take the next step. All we have to do is trust our road, which is the path God has laid out for us. It’s when we stop following the road that we start wrecking.

I pray guidance and clarity over each and every one of you that you will be able to see the path ahead of you, that you will pay attention when God reveals to you with his light like Moses paid attention to the burning bush. I pray peace and trust into your spirit that you will have no doubt in your steps, even though you can’t see far ahead of you. But, most of all, I pray courage into your hearts that you will keep going when the path gets steep, when the path gets bumpy, and when there are so many twists and turns you think you must be lost. He’s got you! So long as you hold onto Him and keep your eye on His light and His road for you, you will not ever be lost.

God bless!
Elizabeth